How to actually build a life in a new country
For months leading up to an international move, your entire world can quickly revolve around “the logistics.”
You stress over the paperwork, you pack your life into cardboard boxes, and you spend your evenings trying to decipher foreign bureaucratic systems. The actual process of moving can take up all of your mental bandwidth.
And then, the big day arrives. You get the keys. The removal van leaves. You finally sit down in your new living room.
But what happens when the adrenaline of the move finally wears off?
I recently sat down with Mathilde Bodu from Happy in France to talk about that exact moment. Because the truth is, getting your paperwork approved and buying a house is just the warm-up act. The real challenge is what comes next: transitioning from “someone who just moved” to someone who actually has a fulfilling daily life in a new country.
If you are planning a move, or if you are currently staring at empty boxes wondering what to do next, here is how you make that shift.
YOU NEED A “LIFE PROJECT”
A lot of people view relocating to a new country, especially for retirement, as the finish line.
But in reality, it is the starting line of another chapter (even if it is the last chapter). When you strip away the routine of your previous life—the commute, the office, the familiar social circles—you are left with a blank canvas. That can be incredibly liberating, but it can also be quite isolating.
Mathilde and I talked a lot about the concept of a “life project.” This is about being intentional with your time. It is not just about keeping busy; it is about finding purpose, structuring your days, and maintaining mental fulfilment once the honeymoon phase of the move wears off.
FINDING YOUR PEOPLE (THE FIVE-A-SIDE STRATEGY)
Integration is a heavy word. People often assume it means you have to immediately become best friends with the local mayor and debate French philosophy at the bakery.
It does not. Integration is simply about shared experiences.
When I moved, my strategy was incredibly simple: I started a five-a-side football group. It was a brilliant, low-pressure way to build a local network. You do not need perfect French to kick a ball around. Mathilde’s advice is exactly the same: lean into your hobbies. Join the local sports club, find an artistic group, or volunteer. Connection happens naturally when you are focused on a shared activity.
HELPING YOUR SPOUSE ACCLIMATE
This is a dynamic we see all the time. One partner moves for a job, giving them a ready-made social outlet and a sense of purpose. The other partner, the “non-working spouse”, is left at home trying to build a routine out of thin air.
Without a workplace, you have to work twice as hard to create natural social collisions. This is where volunteering, teaching a language, or joining local associations becomes a lifeline. It provides that much-needed structure and local connection.
OVERCOMING THE ROADBLOCKS
Building a life takes time, and there will be roadblocks. Here are the two biggest ones we discussed, and how to get past them:
Language anxiety: Perfectionism is the enemy of integration. If you wait until your grasp of the vernacular is flawless before you speak to your neighbours, you will never speak to them. People appreciate the effort far more than the grammar. Do not take it personally if an interaction feels clunky.
The “Bonjour” rule: Never underestimate the power of a simple greeting. In France, acknowledging people with a “Bonjour” when you walk into a shop or pass them in the village is the foundation of basic respect.
The “Keep Showing Up” strategy: Consistency builds trust. Go to the same bakery. Walk the dog at the same time. Show your face at the local fêtes. Familiarity eventually turns into friendship.
THE LONG-TERM PERSPECTIVE
Moving your entire life across borders is a massive undertaking. It is a journey, not a destination. You need to be patient with yourself, maintain your confidence when things feel difficult, and remember why you made the leap in the first place.
And remember, you do not have to do it alone. If you are struggling with the emotional side of the move, experts like Mathilde and I are here to help you navigate many of the elements of your new (or soon to be new) life.
As a financial planner, my job is to make sure your wealth is structured properly so you don’t have to worry about tax traps or scattered pensions. Because when your financial foundations are rock solid, you have the time, the energy, and the bandwidth to focus on what actually matters: your life project.
If you want to get the financial side of your move sorted, feel free to reach out. Let’s get your chickens in a row.
